People say the first day of a new year reflects how your year will go.. If that's true, 2014 is going to be one wild goose chase for me, and it's blog worthy.
It all started when I woke up at 10 am to the smell of bacon. As I've tweeted recently, "Bacon is good for me". I love the shit. It's like a taste budgasm. Mmm. Blah blah blah, we hung out at dads and then we packed our shit and headed to Kansas City to eat lunch before taking off. We pull into Hollywood Casino (apparently, they have an amazing "must try" buffet), we attempted that, plans fail. My sister wasn't old enough to go through the casino to get to the buffet. So, it was a no go. We get back into the truck and head to a shopping center called "legends". We ended up at this little New Orleans Style restaurant, "Jazz" something or another. Seeing as though I'm from Louisiana, I was judging the place hard. It didn't even come close to comparing to back home.
After a little lunch and shopping, we headed towards the airport. The temperature outside was quickly dropping and we were now expecting some snow. Didn't mean anything to me at the time because in just a few hours, I would be on a plane to where it's sunny and 65. (Okay, rainy and 60..)
Da.. Da.. Da... Moving along in the story; we get all checked in, checked our luggage and now it's time to find Starbies, because, traveling without coffee is a sin.
We had a good 20 minutes or so of enjoying our coffee, our last few minutes of visiting with my Dad and step mom and the beautiful, snowy view before heading to security around 5:30pm.
After security, we pretty much boarded the plane right away. Seriously, getting into this plane was a joke. I felt like I was climbing into a toy plane. It was the runt of all planes. The baby. The Tiny Tim. The Simon Birch of all fucking planes. I kid you not.
We finally crawl down the isle and pack ourselves like sardines into our seats. Looking out of the windows, we knew it couldn't be that great out because the snow was sticking to the ground and piling up pretty quickly..
Literally, we sat on the plane for 2 whole hours at the gate before they tell us there was an issue. I'm getting ansty and annoyed and just ready to get the fuck off. This weird ass woman has her hair draped over the back of her seat which is in my face... One guy is clicking his pen over and over and over and someone, somewhere on that plane smelled like deviled eggs and I was literally GAGGING.
Around 7:30 pm, we were told that there was an issue with the ice and the runway, to remain patient with them. Like, HELLO?! It's been 2 hours. Fucking let me off of the plane. We were literally packed in. SO uncomfortable. But, wait, get this.. ONE MORE hour later, we are deboarded from the plane due to "maintenance" problems.
Whatever.
We're off. Finally, I can breathe again. My own air..
It's 8:33pm and I'm arguing with the airport idiots about a new flight. After arguing for an hour, we are told there is a plane leaving at 9:50 pm. Somehow, in the mist of all of that, my sister and I receive two $7.00 food vouchers to be used at any food or beverage location in the Kansas City Airport or Houston Airport.
We board our new plane on time. My favorite thing about boarding was the fact that the little Asian bitch was trying to make us "board alphabetically" and the security guy says "they don't want to do that, let them just board".
Boom. Betch.
Back on a tiny ass plane.
So, boarded at about 9:55ish and due to the plane being icy, we had to go through this salt wash process, almost like a car wash, to get it all off of the plane so the wings could work. We headed up the runway and into the air around 10:30pm... FUCKING FINALLY. I'm exhausted at this point and just want to go to sleep, but I can't.
This woman slept like a baby, on this baby plane.. Good for her.
The flight was rough. Too rough. That's all I have to say.
The little lispy guy comes around with the drink cart and I have myself an orange juice, why not? I'll just pretend there's vodka involved. I already feel sleep deprived and crazy. Meanwhile, I'm slowly falling asleep to vanilla twilight and my phones dying.
12:17pm rolls around.. HOUSTON BOUND, BABY, HOLLER!! But, the adventure isn't over yet.
A 30 minute wait in the customer service line to get a hotel and shuttle, a 20 minute wait for the shuttle to arrive to us and another 20 minute drive to the hotel packed in this little bitty shuttle with about 15 others.
WE MADE IT. It's gross and icky and makes me feel dirty, but it's not a plane and it's not an airport, so I'm not complaining too much right now.
The room was a lot bigger than I expected, at least.
Now, the sister and I are getting two hours of shut eye before waking up, and hopefully, not, repeating this again tomorrow.
Complimentary breakfast is being served at 7, but, I'm not feeling up to creme de la cochroach with a side of flies.
One plane down, one to go.
Happy new year, betches.
Xoxo Kate
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